Have You Ever...

[toybuilt]

Have you ever roasted off your tires since you got a free set only to fined that they were stolen the next day. So you go ahead and buy a set of tires but three days before they come in you total your truck mostly because of balled tires

[Cheesemaker]

Been pulled over eight times on your way home because some guys had robbed a bank and got away in a car identical to mine!  Each and every time had to get out at gun point, hand cuffed and put in the back of a cop car until they find out they have the wrong guy!  I was really pissed off that night!  I was supposed to go on a date that night and by the time I got there she was really pissed and never wanted to see me again for standing her up! 

[jimbo74]

Been pulled over eight times on your way home because some guys had robbed a bank and got away in a car identical to mine! Each and every time had to get out at gun point, hand cuffed and put in the back of a cop car until they find out they have the wrong guy! I was really pissed off that night! I was supposed to go on a date that night and by the time I got there she was really pissed and never wanted to see me again for standing her up!

moral of the story: dont drive cars that look like thug cars

[toybuilt]

 

[*FFC*]

Been pulled over eight times on your way home because some guys had robbed a bank and got away in a car identical to mine!  Each and every time had to get out at gun point, hand cuffed and put in the back of a cop car until they find out they have the wrong guy!  I was really pissed off that night!  I was supposed to go on a date that night and by the time I got there she was really pissed and never wanted to see me again for standing her up! 

that's awsome!!!   I'da hated to be in yer shoes!!

[germ]

Have you ever pulled over to ask a pedestrian for directions, then when they get close to the car squirt them with a fire extinguisher filled with water, then take off as they scream and yell at you?

Erik

[crawlerdan]

Have you ever pulled over to ask a pedestrian for directions, then when they get close to the car squirt them with a fire extinguisher filled with water, then take off as they scream and yell at you?

Erik

it was you!!!??? damn you, that stung my peepers

[kneedownnate]

Have you ever pulled over to ask a pedestrian for directions, then when they get close to the car squirt them with a fire extinguisher filled with water, then take off as they scream and yell at you?

Erik

No!  I have this thing about not screwing with people I don't know, yknow that whole karma thing.

[BLACKDOG]

No!  I have this thing about not screwing with people I don't know, yknow that whole karma thing.

My karma ran over my dogma

[kneedownnate]

No, not karman ghia, karma man......

[BUDDERS]

Ever shot bottlerockes past a drunk driver?  It's really fun if you turn your lights out and creep up behind them at night.  You know who they are - there the ones swerving and doing 30 in a 55mhp lane.

[*FFC*]

Have you ever been underneath yer vehicle, next to the jack stand and go to sit up a lil to pull yourself out and slam yer head into the stinkin jack stand?  ouch!    ouch! ouch!   

[dj]

have you ever "took a girl home that looked like Shania Twain, and woke up the next morning to find out it looked more like mark twain?" --- Larry the Cable Guy

[rockscrambler]

no but I did wake up next to a girl that looked like Larry the cable guy  that I don't    even remember going to bed with !  and believe me I was  out the door but had to  to make sure I saw what I saw and then    to her standing in the door. My best friend called me the next day and said that his cousin said I left last night without saying goodbye.    and I said no I remember  her and she is totally hot and what I woke up to was totally not! after he stopped            he let me in on the joke. I had gone home with his cousin and when I fell asleep/passed out. her and her college roommate switched beds on me. and they were all          sitting in the apartment.

BTW: the roommate was acctually pregnant not fat although still alittle heavy. had shaved her head because she lite it on fire drinking flaming shot that night. but she was still just    to wake up next to

[Duffil]

wow...that is hilarious... and  for your buddy! thats classic.

[BLACKDOG]

Have you ever been underneath yer vehicle, next to the jack stand and go to sit up a lil to pull yourself out and slam yer head into the stinkin jack stand?  ouch!    ouch! ouch!   

You know, when  I sit up, I usually hit my head on the vehicle, not the jackstand

[yotatilla]

have you ever "took a girl home that looked like Shania Twain, and woke up the next morning to find out it looked more like mark twain?" --- Larry the Cable Guy

I got pulled over and the officer asked me if I had been drinking, and I said "no, why, is there a fat girl in my backseat!?"

Classic larry. Gotta love it



Sam

[FATB0Y]

no but I did wake up next to a girl that looked like Larry the cable guy  that I don't    even remember going to bed with !  and believe me I was  out the door but had to  to make sure I saw what I saw and then    to her standing in the door. My best friend called me the next day and said that his cousin said I left last night without saying goodbye.    and I said no I remember  her and she is totally hot and what I woke up to was totally not! after he stopped            he let me in on the joke. I had gone home with his cousin and when I fell asleep/passed out. her and her college roommate switched beds on me. and they were all          sitting in the apartment.

BTW: the roommate was acctually pregnant not fat although still alittle heavy. had shaved her head because she lite it on fire drinking flaming shot that night. but she was still just to wake up next to

So now I remember why I don't drink

[...................................]

BTW: the roommate was acctually pregnant not fat although still alittle heavy. had shaved her head because she lite it on fire drinking flaming shot that night

ok...this is just ridiculous. She was PREGNANT and drinking SHOTS? what an idiot...someone call CPS on that  ARGH!

[BLACKDOG]

ok...this is just ridiculous. She was PREGNANT and drinking SHOTS? what an idiot...someone call CPS on that  ARGH!

somehow, I have a feeling this was a LONG time ago???  Rockscrambler?  and unfortunately, what is CPS going to do? CPS is a governhemnt agency, and as a whole, gov't doesn't believe a child is a child until it is born.    Not that that is right

[rockscrambler]

ok...this is just ridiculous. She was PREGNANT and drinking SHOTS? what an idiot...someone call CPS on that ARGH!

yes a long time she (the baby)will be 17 in July and is healthy but the splitting image of her mother>    <daughter . and mom today would probably be in total agreement with you on that Alyssa but then she was young and stupid and a single mom that had no idea who is DA papa. if that tells ya anything about her then . but today she is a paralegal in Miami Fl.

[BUDDERS]

Ever been layin' in the trunk of the car working on wiring/speakers overhead and farted?   I couldn't get out quick enough and accidentely pulled on the truck hinge which collapsed the trunk lid into my shins, then jumped up from the pain and gave myself a black eye on the speaker magnet! - I call that a double whammy

The tripple whammy is when you burn yourself on a hot exhaust manifold, then jerk your arm back to bust open your elbow on the radiator, then jump and hit your head on the hood.  Damn, this job of mine is too dangerous - or is it me?

[FATB0Y]

Ever been layin' in the trunk of the car working on wiring/speakers overhead and farted? I couldn't get out quick enough and accidentally pulled on the truck hinge which collapsed the trunk lid into my shins, then jumped up from the pain and gave myself a black eye on the speaker magnet! - I call that a double whammy

The triple whammy is when you burn yourself on a hot exhaust manifold, then jerk your arm back to bust open your elbow on the radiator, then jump and hit your head on the hood. Damn, this job of mine is too dangerous - or is it me?

sound to me like you are an accident lookin a place to happen

[toybuilt]

 

[FATB0Y]

I work with a guy that hurts himself all the time and it's funny as hell

[Rocksurfer]

ok...this is just ridiculous. She was PREGNANT and drinking SHOTS? what an idiot...someone call SPCA on that  ARGH!

You've got your letters a little mixed up here I'll fix them for you........




There I highlighted it in red for you.

[wa4x4]

Ever been creeped out when your most hill billy friend's older brother 21 almost 22 gets his 16 year old gf pregnant and your friend (18) calls his gf a milf...something just not right there....

[*FFC*]

Ever been layin' in the trunk of the car working on wiring/speakers overhead and farted?   I couldn't get out quick enough and accidentely pulled on the truck hinge which collapsed the trunk lid into my shins, then jumped up from the pain and gave myself a black eye on the speaker magnet! - I call that a double whammy

The tripple whammy is when you burn yourself on a hot exhaust manifold, then jerk your arm back to bust open your elbow on the radiator, then jump and hit your head on the hood.  Damn, this job of mine is too dangerous - or is it me?

OMG Budders! I'm        That's freekin hularious!!!!!!  Very unfortunate and I've done the triple whammy before, but you stated it all just right

no but I did wake up next to a girl that looked like Larry the cable guy  that I don't    even remember going to bed with !  and believe me I was  out the door but had to  to make sure I saw what I saw and then    to her standing in the door. My best friend called me the next day and said that his cousin said I left last night without saying goodbye.    and I said no I remember  her and she is totally hot and what I woke up to was totally not! after he stopped            he let me in on the joke. I had gone home with his cousin and when I fell asleep/passed out. her and her college roommate switched beds on me. and they were all          sitting in the apartment.

BTW: the roommate was acctually pregnant not fat although still alittle heavy. had shaved her head because she lite it on fire drinking flaming shot that night. but she was still just to wake up next to

I'd hate to be that preg girl with all this talk

[rockscrambler]

Ever been layin' in the trunk of the car working on wiring/speakers overhead and farted? I couldn't get out quick enough and accidentely pulled on the truck hinge which collapsed the trunk lid into my shins, then jumped up from the pain and gave myself a black eye on the speaker magnet! - I call that a double whammy

The tripple whammy is when you burn yourself on a hot exhaust manifold, then jerk your arm back to bust open your elbow on the radiator, then jump and hit your head on the hood. Damn, this job of mine is too dangerous - or is it me?

yes and yes
except it was the trunk of a 76 datsun 810 removing the gas tank and the trunk lid was held up by a broom stick. I kicked it and the lid hit me in the head and knocked me   

[BUDDERS]

Ever been doing drum brakes and while hooking the springs back on with needle nose vice grips had them slip off the spring and shoot straight up your nose? - That was the worst bloody nose I've ever had - everyone thought I broke it.


BTW, I'm glad I'm not alone on the double and tripple whammy thing!