Author Topic: Blonde Jokes ?!?! (Read 6117 times)

ToyChick1 · « **on:** Sep 16, 2002, 02:39:26 PM »

Whats The Differance Between A Blonde And A Walrus??

One Has Wiskers And Fishie Flaps And The Other Is A Walrus!!!!!!!!!

;D

CruzrDave · « **Reply #1 on:** Sep 16, 2002, 02:41:21 PM »

DAMN :sealed:

mr4x42u · « **Reply #2 on:** Sep 29, 2002, 10:42:30 PM »

How do you drown a blond?

Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool...

What do you tell a blond with two black eyes?

Nothing,she's already been told twice!

ToyChick1 · « **Reply #3 on:** Oct 05, 2002, 06:44:43 PM »

well ;D ok someone actualy put some jokes on

79coyotefrg · « **Reply #4 on:** Oct 06, 2002, 03:58:42 AM »

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and
his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the
doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor,"
she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody
who appears completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question
which anyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates,
that puts you on the track."

"What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips
around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'

The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh,
"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I
must confess I don't know much about history."

cruzila · « **Reply #5 on:** Oct 06, 2002, 05:08:45 AM »

President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the bartender,
"Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"

The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honour. What are you guys doing here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III."
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis and one blonde with big tits."
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?"

Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says,
"See smart ass, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

ToyChick1 · « **Reply #6 on:** Oct 16, 2002, 09:31:02 AM »

;D WE Need More Jokes COME on

J.D.Zuki · « **Reply #7 on:** Oct 17, 2002, 07:48:46 AM »

Whats the differents between a Blonde and a Fj40?

:smack:Not everyones been in a Fj before.

hawaii500_1999 · « **Reply #8 on:** Oct 17, 2002, 12:07:17 PM »

why do most blonde women have bruises around their belly buttons?

cause most blonde women have blonde boyfriends.

:talking: :talking:

:oops:

J.D.Zuki · « **Reply #9 on:** Oct 18, 2002, 05:10:06 PM »

PAToyota · « **Reply #10 on:** Oct 21, 2002, 03:48:37 AM »

A blonde comes into the emergency room with a bullet wound to her left hand, right through the palm.

As the doctor is treating her, he asks what happened. The blonde sheepishly admits that her husband left her and that she was trying to commit suicide. The doctor raises his eyebrows and asks if she realizes that she cannot commit suicide by shooting herself in the hand.

"Oh, even I know that!" she exclaims. "First I put the gun in my mouth (demonstrating with her right hand thumb and forefinger to her mouth), but then I thought of all the money I spent on orthodontics. So I put it up to my heart (demonstrating again), but then I thought off all the money I spent on my boob job. So, finally, I put it up to my head (demonstrating with her hand to the side of her head at her right ear), but then I realized that the gun was going to make a loud noise..." (as she puts her left hand up to cover her left ear)...

PAToyota · « **Reply #11 on:** Oct 21, 2002, 04:01:02 AM »

A blonde decides to start her new handywoman business. She answers her first call and talks to the homeowner. He tells her that he wants a new shingle roof on his porch. They select a color for the shingles and settle on a price. The homeowner cannot believe the low price she quotes and chuckles to himself.

Later that morning she announces that she is already finished. The homeowner cannot believe it and pays her.

"Two things," says the blonde. "First, it isn't a Porche, it's Lexus. And second, I think the color of shingles you picked really clashes..."

alan@rockbuggysupp · « **Reply #12 on:** Oct 24, 2002, 04:43:21 AM »

what do blondes and screen doors have in common ?

the more you bang um the looser they get :.order:

toyoda · « **Reply #13 on:** Oct 24, 2002, 03:32:18 PM »

Good one Alan!

But how about this...

toyoda · « **Reply #14 on:** Oct 24, 2002, 03:34:23 PM »

Hey shes blonde!

cruzila · « **Reply #15 on:** Oct 26, 2002, 03:52:54 AM »

This blonde rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight............

BigMike · « **Reply #16 on:** Nov 02, 2002, 05:27:44 PM »

I actually posted this in the BAr Napkin Joke topic but I'll add it here now

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home,when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank.
Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, "d**n, this one isn't wearing any
shoes either!"

rEdnECkwHeE1eR · « **Reply #17 on:** Nov 03, 2002, 05:45:01 AM »

Heheheheh
Hey mikeo were have ya been?

85YotaMan · « **Reply #18 on:** Nov 24, 2002, 09:51:13 AM »

An brunette, redhead, and blond were all talking about their teenage daughters.

The brunette says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn't even know she smoked."

The redhead says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank."

Then the blond speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms.

I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a d**k."

85YotaMan · « **Reply #19 on:** Nov 24, 2002, 09:53:54 AM »

Why doesn't a blond talk during sex?

Her mother told her never to talk to strangers.

85YotaMan · « **Reply #20 on:** Nov 24, 2002, 09:55:03 AM »

A woman walks into a doctors office and says, "Doctor I hurt all over."

The doctor say, "That's impossible."

"No really! Just look, when I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts. When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts. When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts," she replies.

The doctor just shakes his head and says, "You're a natural blond aren't you?"

The woman smiles and says, "Why yes I am. How did you know?"

The Doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."

BigMike · « **Reply #21 on:** Nov 24, 2002, 02:48:52 PM »

ToyChick1 [OP]

ToyChick1 [OP]

Related Topics