Chuck Norris...

[Shamb]

u just made that up 

But of course I did, now don't piss off the Chuck Thread as it will soon be taking over MarlinCrawler Online Forum.. it will soon be called ChuckNorris Online Forum and Chuck Norris will be the Dictator

[Shamb]

Did Chuck Norris invent Bacon?

[Talon84x4]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

[norcalyoter]

 

[BNRSHNTZL]

chuck norris can get black jack with one card

chuck norris let the dogs out!!

[unclejpl4x4]

weak

[norcalyoter]

  yeah those were very weak 

[Talon84x4]

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

[unclejpl4x4]

ok fine i'll join in

chuck Norris is so manly   when he with other guys  they go striate.

[unclejpl4x4]

chuck Norris is so  scary  real men cry when they watch his moives    so on one ever watches them   he makes all his $$$ doing comercials


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZEpKR_ueKk

[krawler76]

I once saw chuck Norris break a 30 spline with his hands...

[Fearofrunner]

If it wasn't for Chuck Norris then average Joe's would never have gone on to defeating globo gym

[krawler76]

 

[Wermz84]

I heard the 30 spline broke just by his beard looking at it.

[FATTshack]

You guys have it all wrong... 30 splines are made from Chuck Norris' hair strands, after they are put into a blast furnace and fused together. the hub gears are made from his beard hairs!

[jimbo74]

i think tom cruise invented purple too, and the teletubby with the triangle

[krawler76]

i once saw chuck norris fight bruce lee
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2644656832358955377&q=chuck+norris&total=6662&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=3


RIP CHUCK

[norcalyoter]

bump 


Biologically, Chuck Norris is his own step-father.

[norcalyoter]

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

[dizzydevil]

i once saw chuck norris fight bruce lee
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2644656832358955377&q=chuck+norris&total=6662&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=3


RIP CHUCK

yes but chuck was only 3 years old for that fight

[dizzydevil]

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

[norcalyoter]

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.



Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.

[norcalyoter]

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

[Duffil]

[FATTshack]

Chuck Norris once ported and polished his 22RE head by simply pointing at it and shouting "KA-POW"!

[dizzydevil]

Chuck Norris doesn't have to clean his house..he just stares at it and scares the dirt away.

[norcalyoter]

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take from anyone.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

[norcalyoter]

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

[dizzydevil]

 

[norcalyoter]

i saw the Rosa Parks one and was i like i hope i don't get in to much trouble for this one