Chuck Norris...

[unclejpl4x4]

    chuck norris   is so    the guys at pirate  made him cry in his own chuck norris thread

[DTB]

    chuck norris   is so    the guys at pirate  made him cry in his own chuck norris thread

i think that was you joe 

[iNfErNaL]

Chuck Norris is so tuff he can kick unclejpl4x4's ass and make him stop hating on Chuck Norris.

[FATTshack]

Chuck Norris can't get dirty, the dirt is to scared to stay on him.

[BigMike]

Chuck Norris is so fast,he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head!!

Chuck Norris is so strong that he can survive his own attack.

[unclejpl4x4]

Chuck Norris is so strong that he can survive his own attack.

but wouldnt that be a paradox   and upset the space time continuum

[DTB]

but wouldnt that be a paradox   and upset the space time continuum

chuck norris can fix paradoxes in time space continuims

[unclejpl4x4]

im calling shenanigans   only Q can do that

[BigMike]

chuck norris can fix paradoxes in time space continuims

Chuck Norris can fix the Marlin Crawler website from all link errors, but he is too busy saving the world from terror.

[norcalyoter]

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

[BikerTrash]

It  is Impossible for Chuck Norris to shave using a razor, He just has to Roundhouse kick him self in the face... Only Chuck Norris is hard enough to cut Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris Does infact live in a round house.


Chuck Norris once bet the scientists at NASA that he could survive reentry from space without a ship or a space suit. One Clear night in 1985 a naked Chuck Norris was reportedly seen streaking through the sky over at least 6 states before landing in the ocean and swimming back to shore. NASA still owes him a beer.

[FATTshack]

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[FATTshack]

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

[BigMike]

these are so funny, I love it. I never saw the thread from last year, and this is the first time I've seen anything like this

I do want it to remain clean, so I've removed all sexual references.




Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

[FATTshack]

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris. 

[BikerTrash]

The actual Purpose of the Manhattan Project was to send Chuck Norris back in time to prevent John F. Kennedy's assassination. It was a success and he was able to deflect the bullet with his beard, unfortunately the President was so amazed his head exploded.

It is commonly believed that Bruce Lee defeated Chuck Norris in the film "Way of the dragon" AKA "Return of the Dragon". the first part of the fight was real, however the part where Chuck Norris  was shown to be struggling, and eventually killed was actually the most expensive special effect ever caught on tape, it is estimated that if adjusted for inflation the cost of that single effect would be greater than the entire United States deficit.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4912300884237801739

Here is the Video of the special effect.

[Duffil]

The actual Purpose of the Manhattan Project was to send Chuck Norris back in time to prevent John F. Kennedy's assassination. It was a success and he was able to deflect the bullet with his beard, unfortunately the President was so amazed his head exploded.

It is commonly believed that Bruce Lee defeated Chuck Norris in the film "Way of the dragon" AKA "Return of the Dragon". the first part of the fight was real, however the part where Chuck Norris  was shown to be struggling, and eventually killed was actually the most expensive special effect ever caught on tape, it is estimated that if adjusted for inflation the cost of that single effect would be greater than the entire United States deficit.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4912300884237801739

Here is the Video of the special effect.

that is clearly NOT Chuck Norris, but a double.  His beard is not tuff enough.

[unclejpl4x4]

  O NO you did not go there 

Bruce lee can kick chucks everyday of the week up hill in a snow storm bare footed  on glass while raining poison darts 

[BikerTrash]

O NO you did not go there 

Bruce lee can kick chucks everyday of the week up hill in a snow storm bare footed  on glass while raining poison darts 

Actually no he cant for about two reasons. 1: this is a Chuck Norris Facts thread so Chuck Norris can never be beaten while being discussed in this thread.

2: Bruce Lee is dead so unless the clone Bruce Lee so he can fight back Chuck Norris can beat (whats left of) him up any time he wants.



Unfortunately cloning of humans has been banned because scientists believe that if Chuck Norris was cloned, and the original and the clone ever Fought, the Destructive ene4rgy released by the fight would destroy the universe.

[Wermz84]

Unfortunately cloning of humans has been banned because scientists believe that if Chuck Norris was cloned, and the original and the clone ever Fought, the Destructive ene4rgy released by the fight would destroy the universe.

[highridin4x4]

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

[dizzydevil]

Chuk Norris does not go rock crawling....the rocks cary his rig up the hill for him!

[BikerTrash]

Chuck Norris made the Total Gym in a misguided effort to make his opponents not suck, That effort has failed.

[BNRSHNTZL]

when Chuck Norris does division there are no remainders   

[norcalyoter]

It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

[norcalyoter]

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A ducks quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you grimly.

[norcalyoter]

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

[mikerob]

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pees

[Shamb]

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pees

And instead of flushing he gives it a round house kick to the face, resulting in an exploding toilet.

[DTB]

And instead of flushing he gives it a round house kick to the face, resulting in an exploding toilet.

u just made that up