Topic: President speech

[rebel racer]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.


Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.


Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.


I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put them? Yep, border security.


Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.


To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.

 
 

[Lady Di]

OMG!!!        

and I must say 

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
 

Thank you rebel racer, that is a hoot!! 

[WHITE_TRASH]

Damn, I hate to sound like PBB but thats a big fat REPOST from about 6 months ago.  I know I posted it.

Still a damned good read, if I got elected Ill guarantee you'd be hearing that speach.  I have no use for being the worlds big brother, let them kill each other.

[CTENG in KS]

Its OK WT..I'll start

R

[79coyotefrg]

  WHITETRASH for president        

[88runner]

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

you think we're affraid  here's a pic for you (don't take it to seriously  )

[Lady Di]

LMAO!! I have a couple friends in Canada, we bust each others chops all the time. I keep telling them we're going to be storming the border and taking all their beer!

[88runner]

LMAO!! I have a couple friends in Canada, we bust each others chops all the time. I keep telling them we're going to be storming the border and taking all their beer!

hey I'm betting that Willy Mammoth as either french canadian or french ancestor, Lanthier isn't exactly an English last name ya know

[Rocksurfer]

Oh so that's why they painted it yellow....... [Rocksurfer ducks and takes cover (notice I didn't say runs and hides)] 

[gonzo]

Oh so that's why they painted it yellow....... [Rocksurfer ducks and takes cover (notice I didn't say runs and hides)]

Are we slamming people with Canadian descent?...........

[Lady Di]

rocksurfer!

and 88 as far as we know Lanthier is French Canadian. But MrW's grandfather Lanthier was adopted, I think his orginal name was Bourdelaise or something like that.

My last name is Fioretti, not exactly English either. An Italian from NJ, what are the odds? LMAO!

Are we slamming people with Canadian descent?...........

I think he was slamming people of French descent. 

[gonzo]

hey I'm betting that Willy Mammoth as either french canadian or french ancestor, Lanthier isn't exactly an English last name ya know

Hmmmm.........."runner" sounds like a French Nationals name.........is that true 88RUNNER ...........................

[88runner]

actually my name isn't french

My last name is Marquez from my father.

[gonzo]

actually my name isn't french

My last name is Marquez from my father.

88 I was talking about your "board" name dude. 88runner.  I have descends from Canada myself and they were French.    you know I'm kidding about the "runner' thing...right? 

[88runner]

you know I'm kidding about the "runner' thing...right? 

I know you're not kidding 
  

 

 

[kneedownnate]

Darn canadians and their floppy heads!  The way their jaw hinges in the back just trips me out........

[Lady Di]

My favorite Kanuck



"If the wimmin don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy"

[gonzo]

Darn canadians and their floppy heads! The way their jaw hinges in the back just trips me out........

"South Park" 

[rebel racer [OP]]

Damn, I hate to sound like PBB but thats a big fat REPOST from about 6 months ago. I know I posted it.

Still a damned good read, if I got elected Ill guarantee you'd be hearing that speach. I have no use for being the worlds big brother, let them kill each other.

sorry. but i'd still vote for you