How to Shower Like A:

Started by 46&2, January 01, 2008, 08:19:41 PM

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46&2

January 01, 2008, 08:19:41 PM
Found this on another board, I thought you guys might get a kick out of it (the women of the board probably wont  :biggthumpup:)



How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-hoo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-hoo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

85 4Runner Build  /  Cool Foreign Toyotas  /  Toyota: We Want Diesel FB Page    Rockcrawlintoy – i guess moms will put the pups up on the beach when they go fisting

abnormaltoy

#1
January 01, 2008, 08:23:04 PM
 We are simple critters, aren't we?
The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-- Winston Churchill

Censorship, that most subtle tool of oppression, the tool of the fearful and small minded. 8/15/2008

"It is interesting that we are asked to NOT judge all Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics. Too bad gun owners can't get same judgment."
Travis Tritt (I know!)

jimbo74

#2
January 01, 2008, 08:23:20 PM
:rofl:
:usa:

The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it. And one path we shall never choose, and that is the path of surrender, or submission.

~ John F. Kennedy ~

BLACKDOG

#4
January 01, 2008, 08:31:26 PM
:rofl: :rofl2: :hahaha: 
:usa: Its better to die on your feet than live on your knees :usa:

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free. "

"I don't believe in a government that protects us from ourselves."
              -Ronald Reagan

Don't take life too seriously, it isn't permanent

Thomas P

#5
January 01, 2008, 08:46:25 PM
lol  :beerchug:
'85 EFI X cab SR5. 42" Iroks, Dual ultimates etc.
'84 Std. cab  Yota, Chevy 4.3 swapped (makes v8's cry)
'88 4 Runner 39.5" Iroks FJ80 front, taco rear elockers dual ultimates
'07 Toyota Tundra crew max 5.7 (grocery getter/tow rig)
'14 Camry SE
SCX10 Honcho on roids!

fordh8r

#6
January 01, 2008, 09:29:59 PM
I saw this in video form and it is friggin hilarious!  :rofl:

kneedownnate

#7
January 01, 2008, 10:07:35 PM
Holy crap, that was a good laugh :haha: 
RIP KYOTA

You can go through life being scared of the possible, or you can have a little fun and tease the inevitable.

Give a man venison, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to hunt Blacktail, he'll be frustrated for life!

Duffil

#8
January 01, 2008, 10:36:23 PM
Quote from: fordh8r on January 01, 2008, 09:29:59 PM
I saw this in video form and it is friggin hilarious!  :rofl:
got a linky?

I got this one in an email a while back.

fordh8r

#9
January 01, 2008, 10:39:37 PM
Quote from: Duffil on January 01, 2008, 10:36:23 PM
got a linky?

I got this one in an email a while back.
Wish I did, I saw it in an e-mail sent to me quite a while ago... :down:  Surely, I would share if I still had it...  :yupyup: 



Sorry,  :outtahere:

Lady Di

#10
January 02, 2008, 07:26:19 AM

:rofl:  AS IF! FYI: The women's list does NOT apply to all of us. (probably not most of the wimmins on the Marlin board)
Life is like a bowl of beer flavored chocolate covered dog turds.. it makes no sense. :pokinit:

Where is the Mammoth?

How the Mammoth came to be

Number Two :pokinit:

toyotanner

#11
January 02, 2008, 07:41:34 AM
:laugh: thats funny

79coyotefrg

#12
January 02, 2008, 09:00:59 AM
:rofl2:
AR-TTORA founder 22R bored.060,LCE stage II race cam http://pure-gas.org/    32/36weber, :driving: Marlin 1200 NON ceramic clutch, L52SHD+dualcase #2919, cable-locker, Yukon 5.29 gears, 35's, Allpro ebrake, front springs, and high steer, F150rears    RIP Nitro 9-29-07 :(  I sure miss him :down: MarlinCrawlerInc IS NOT affiliated with TrailGear in any way

fordh8r

#13
January 02, 2008, 09:07:56 AM
Quote from: MrsWillyMammoth on January 02, 2008, 07:26:19 AM
:rofl:  AS IF! FYI: The women's list does NOT apply to all of us. (probably not most of the wimmins on the Marlin board)
as long as the men's list doesn't full apply to you.  :ack:   :disturbed:  :rofl:

Fearofrunner

#14
January 02, 2008, 09:28:38 AM
ah hahaha that's funny

Shoyrtt

#15
January 02, 2008, 05:05:31 PM
JOIN THE BLUE RIBBON COALITION!

http://www.sharetrails.org/

AaronB

#16
January 02, 2008, 05:15:39 PM
thats awesome
"Never make your passion your occupation. it will loose it's luster and become work. that's why i never wanted to become a gynecologist!"

Quote from: skipnrocks on November 08, 2011, 05:36:37 PM
I also taught him how to put in 5min of hard work and then spend 15min staring and admiring what you have done...

kneedownnate

#17
January 02, 2008, 06:25:21 PM
Quote from: fordh8r on January 02, 2008, 09:07:56 AM
as long as the men's list doesn't full apply to you.  :ack:   :disturbed:  :rofl:

:spit:
RIP KYOTA

You can go through life being scared of the possible, or you can have a little fun and tease the inevitable.

Give a man venison, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to hunt Blacktail, he'll be frustrated for life!

fordh8r

#18
January 02, 2008, 11:50:34 PM

Lady Di

#19
January 03, 2008, 06:33:17 AM
Quote from: fordh8r on January 02, 2008, 09:07:56 AM
as long as the men's list doesn't full apply to you.  :ack:   :disturbed:  :rofl:

:ack:  No, not at all!! Just wash rinse, don't repeat and get the hell out. :yupyup:
Life is like a bowl of beer flavored chocolate covered dog turds.. it makes no sense. :pokinit:

Where is the Mammoth?

How the Mammoth came to be

Number Two :pokinit:

fordh8r

#20
January 03, 2008, 08:59:11 AM
Quote from: MrsWillyMammoth on January 03, 2008, 06:33:17 AM
:ack:  No, not at all!! Just wash rinse, don't repeat and get the hell out. :yupyup:
:clap2: :bowdown:

88toyota

#21
January 03, 2008, 09:22:10 AM
HAHAHA!  :clap2: :biggthumpup:

Hammerhead

#22
January 04, 2008, 01:19:28 AM
It's good to be King...  :yesnod:
'82 pickup, +3, locked, doubled
'82 pickup, IFS long travel, V8
'85 4runner, V8 rock crawler
'88 X-cab, V6
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