Topic: need help with dealing with grief

[bigarms23]

i need some advice on how to deal with grief my dad just passed away 2days ago at 56yrs old and i need ideas to calm down my
stress and be able to get 6hrs of sleep without the aid of sleeping medication.

[abnormaltoy]

I'm truly sorry. You might talk to Shamb...he lost his dad a while back. I lost my wife in a train wreck a few years ago...it sucks.

Really, don't try to not grieve. Cry, yell, get pissed and cry some more. Prayer helps...regardless of your faith, God hears.

If you were close to your Dad...take some time to reflect on what kind of man he was, remember the things he taught you...then honor him by being the kind of man he would want you to be. Our children are our legacy...when I'm gone...the world,on some small scale, will remember me kindly...because of the legacy I have left. Do the same for your Dad.

[brainlessfool]

I'm truly sorry. You might talk to Shamb...he lost his dad a while back. I lost my wife in a train wreck a few years ago...it sucks.

Really, don't try to not grieve. Cry, yell, get pissed and cry some more. Prayer helps...regardless of your faith, God hears.

If you were close to your Dad...take some time to reflect on what kind of man he was, remember the things he taught you...then honor him by being the kind of man he would want you to be. Our children are our legacy...when I'm gone...the world,on some small scale, will remember me kindly...because of the legacy I have left. Do the same for your Dad.

could not have said it better myself. lost my dad 2 years ago. takes time and don't feel good.
do you have any kids?

[Rocksurfer]

Sorry to hear this, I think the most important part of moving forward is to grieve. When you get past that I found that remembering the good times helped to heal your heart by knowing him. Fond memories have a great effect on your feelings and being able to move forward.

[bigarms23 [OP]]

thanks guys for my by keeping focused has helped and i was laughing when i drove his car and he left me with no gas but i have decided to move on and after the legal junk is done than im moving from truckee back to paso robles ca and than move on with my life

[AaronB]

one of the best things i could do after loosing my dad was to talk to someone else about him. I would and still do (5 years later) talk to my wife about things that he did that pissed me off and great things we did together.

[Shamb]

one of the best things i could do after loosing my dad was to talk to someone else about him. I would and still do (5 years later) talk to my wife about things that he did that pissed me off and great things we did together.

I do this as well, it really helps remember all the great memories you two may have shared together.

I'll tell you honestly abnormaltoy is very good at expressing in words what we're all thinking sometimes. His words have certainly touched me in my time of need. I know he's always there to listen and support people. I give a great deal of credit to abnormaltoy for helping me vent a little and helping me in my situation. 

As time passes things start to get easier, certainly keep all the great memories in your head. I feel one of the greatest ways to respect a loved one is just to keep they're stories and life alive. I think about my pop's on a daily basis and it's a "pick me up" in a way.. like when I get home from work and see my daughter. I will enjoy telling my daughter all the great stories he shared with me and telling her about his life and how much he ment to me one day.

[topar]

one of the best things i could do after loosing my dad was to talk to someone else about him. I would and still do (5 years later) talk to my wife about things that he did that pissed me off and great things we did together.

I could not agree more.  Damn it has been 12 years since my father passed I think of him daily & make sure & tell my son stories about him.  My father was a offshore boat racer, his favorite boat was # 174.  Everytime I drive past this mile maker on the interstate I speak to him (in my mind of course)  my wife knows this & this is the only mile she will not talk during.  I try & keep him updated on family stuff.  Helps me anyways.  Good luck & sorry for your loss.

[junya92toy]

A kid i knew since he was born died a couple of years ago at 17 years old.
At the funeral, someone said, be happy, be joyful you  knew them for the time they were here, because you might of never had them in your life at all.

[thegoofster21]

oh my god man i'm in tears i met your dad for a few mins he seemed like a great man! just remember all the good times. i will be praying for you tonight and many more nights to come! Be strong i know you can. Take care buddy!

[rockin86runner]

wow man truely sry to hear this Cry, get pissed and cry some more and just always talk about him.. ill be praying for you and your family bud

[4RunnerChevy]

thanks guys for my by keeping focused has helped and i was laughing when i drove his car and he left me with no gas but i have decided to move on and after the legal junk is done than im moving from truckee back to paso robles ca and than move on with my life

We would all love you to come home,  rock on Daniel.  Just think when your in paso, you, your dad, and the boys can go wheeling. 

[Cheesemaker]

Alot of good words said here.  I lost my dad 6 years ago to cancer.  I had two really good years with him.  The way I see it, is that the body is gone, but his spirit isn't.  He lives in me, my children, and the things I do.  I talk to him like he is here with me.  Sometimes, I will talk to him about something that I am having troubles with, and then all of the sudden, its done.  It is like he helped me.  I see things that if you think they are gone, then they are truly gone forever.  But if you think about them and talk to them frequently, then its easier to deal with their passing. 

Oh, and I cussed that SOB out too!  Especially, when I had to clean out his work truck.  And found all my tools in his truck.     But then it was followed up with me laughing at him. 

There is one place that I go quite frequently, and that is up the Kilchis River.  I grew up there, and its the one place that I can be close to him, and my grandfather. 

[HULK]

Sorry about your loss man.  I did not lose my dad, but I lost my grandma a little over 2 years ago now, and I think I will never get over the loss, but cope with it.  I was close to her because she raised me, when nobody else was around.  I learned everything from her.  From the day she passed away, I go to her grave to visit her every 2 to 3 days, every holiday, her and my birthday, when I might be passing by.  I go and eat lunch and just talk to her.  I can honestly say, it is not going to be easy, but I cope the best I can by visiting often, and I still cry over losing her.  It is perfectly fine to do so, I am sorry for your loss, and will keep you and your family in my prayers.

[superyota]

sorry to hear about your dad dan.  let me know if there is anything I can do to help.  You'll be in our prayers for sure.  we'll be closer when you move to paso, which means more wheeling trips.

[greg_k113]

The Lord is close to the broken hearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18

[79coyotefrg]

Alot of good words said here.  I lost my dad 6 years ago to cancer.  I had two really good years with him.  The way I see it, is that the body is gone, but his spirit isn't.  He lives in me, my children, and the things I do.  I talk to him like he is here with me.  Sometimes, I will talk to him about something that I am having troubles with, and then all of the sudden, its done.  It is like he helped me.  I see things that if you think they are gone, then they are truly gone forever.  But if you think about them and talk to them frequently, then its easier to deal with their passing. 

Oh, and I cussed that SOB out too!  Especially, when I had to clean out his work truck.  And found all my tools in his truck.     But then it was followed up with me laughing at him. 

There is one place that I go quite frequently, and that is up the Kilchis River.  I grew up there, and its the one place that I can be close to him, and my grandfather. 

I do the same thing. many times I'll be trying to do something with my truck or the house and will be having a horrid time or just put a tool down and it disappears on me but I'll talk to him and miraculously it will present itself or the problem I had will suddenly become so simple.   

[greg_k113]

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

[Zs Confederate Toy]

Sorry for your loss. I havnt lost my dad, there have been a few close calls but hes still here. But I have lost a few close friends recently and I cried and tried to remember the good things we all did together, talked with other ppl about them. Gotta let it out dont keep it in.