What you need to do is find a rural area, the costs aren't as bad as the big city, housing is a little cheaper. Bleak and I live in Tillamook, it's on the ocean from Portland, it's a nice place to raise a family, jobs are kinda limited, but its a quiet area. And Portland and Salem is little over an hour away, so it's not like we are shut off from the world. Just got to decide what you are willing to live with/without. Generally, to live in big cities, it's gonna cost ya more, cause there are more things to do, and things (apts/homes) cost more. Find yourself a fixer upper to buy and you can generally find those cheaper than a nice place.
Best thing to do is just start with a place you're thinking about, and go check it out for a extended weekend. Look at the Craigslist ads for the area, Nickelads, or online newspapers.
I've lived in, visited, have family in big cities, and I wouldn't trade where I live for anything. Yeah, the job market isn't great, but knowing that I live 2 miles from work is nice. And my house payments are only $750 a month. Now, my same house in the Portland area, I would be paying at least $1200 a month payments, and I wouldn't have half an acre with a shop!! 8)
