Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also
sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered:
"Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared,
jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Management Lesson -
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.
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Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be
able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why
don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey
pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the
tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth
night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot
him out of the tree. Management Lesson - Bull sh*t
might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
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Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was
so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground into a
large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay
there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how
warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He
lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing
for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came
to investigate. Following the sound, the cat
discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him. Management Lesson -
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
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This ends your two minute management course.
