need some advice on personal topic

[PadawanYota_Stovy]

Ok so I got a questions for you guys with more experince in break ups / moving on from current girl friends.

I got offered a fun job / change of pace life on Friday about working down in Yosemite National Park for a while and possible long term commitment. It is different then city life jobs your work is customer service and providing it people who visit the parks in a gift , food service or hotel etc.

My issue do I take this job and break up with a gal who I've been dating almost 2 years now since 2010 ish. We've had our ups and down threw the months. If i was to go foward I just don't know what I would do.

My other option is from her standpoint is enlisting into the US Navy which I'm almost there ( 14 pounds or 3% body fat and I'm in) I'm just not sure that life is for me even though I have thought about doing but in my late 20's I'm not to sure. I wanna be out enjoying life and in the great out doors. This job offer can let me do that year around, stable income , my own place sort of and benefits after a year. The lady wants me to join for all descent reason of the Military, good pay, full benefits and college fun after service.

I've tried to tell her that I wasn't sure if that life is for me and she flipped basically the last time I told so it would be a bad break up.

It is just a tough choice to make going forward with this job opportunity to live in a great National park... Any offer up advice for me?

[HogCanyonHopper]

If you have interests you want to pursue and she is not supportive, I say move on. You need to do what will make you happy. just my

[BadnewsBob]

I am all for you joining the Navy being a retired sailor myself. But, My thoughts are (and friend I ain't no stinking counselor) If she doesn't want you to do what makes you happy........ Will you be happy in two, five, ten years from now?  You have to live with yourself till death do you part. Do you wanna make that commitment with her?

Think about it, Go to your favorite place alone and think about it. Then decide what makes you happy. Because Brother if you ain't happy no one else will be either.

Is this where I place the legal disclaimer?

(Sorry bout that. To many years in the navy to not be a sarcastic smart ass.)

[PadawanYota_Stovy]

BadnewsBob, 
I agree about what makes more happy etc. I mean I would be ok in the Military but not sure if I would truly be happy. I believe that my happiness lives with in the National park system and working full time/year around. it's hard to find those jobs.

[Cheesemaker]

I'd go with the National Park.  Nature, beauty, transfers, and good stable career.  But the military can be a good career.   But between the two, I'd go for Park Service. 

About her!!  If she doesn't allow you to follow your dreams, then I say move on.  And a relationship is about teamwork, you need to help support, and be there for each other.  Sometimes thats hard for my wife and I to do, because of kids, and careers get in the way.  I wouldn't be married if my wife dictated what I did and didn't do.   Yeah, I've had to give up alot of stuff when I got married, and had kids, but thats how it goes.  I love my wife, and I couldn't live without her.  But sometimes, DAMNIT she pisses me off.   And I get her pissed too! 

And if you go in the Military, you need to have a VERY STRONG relationship with your significant other.  Because you will be away for a long time, several times a year.  Can she handle that?  Can you trust her to be good and faithful while on leave?  Whereas, with the Parks service, you can see your significant other every day.  I know several good friends that have some very unfaithful wives, while they are overseas protecting our country. 


Basically, my opinion, dump her, and work for the Parks. 

Just my

[PadawanYota_Stovy]

The Mlitary part would but hard but we could handle the long distance. I just don't know if it for me or not. Sure I can handle the stress and physical stuff just unsure the lifestyle is for me.

I would rather IMO but in the National Park system. But again just hard to end something that has probaby honestly been half good so to speak.

[Rocksurfer]

Wouldn't joining the park service qualify? It is still serving your country. Now matter what I've done over the past 35 years with my wife she may not have liked all of my choices but has been supportive of what I've done. That is true companionship, if she can't stand behind your life decisions she needs to just get out of the way. 

Yeah I've been told I can be curt.

[PadawanYota_Stovy]

Wouldn't joining the park service qualify? It is still serving your country. Now matter what I've done over the past 35 years with my wife she may not have liked all of my choices but has been supportive of what I've done. That is true companionship, if she can't stand behind your life decisions she needs to just get out of the way. 

Yeah I've been told I can be curt.

I'm not really working for the park service it is a company running the gift shops, a restaurant and hotel amenities etc. It is still a fun job though IMO a little stressful at times but no more then a day job. I really wanna go forward with this job.

I just don't know how to go about ending things is all.

[Rocksurfer]

Don't, give her the option to support your decision in life. If she can't then she just ended it.

[brainlessfool]

I just don't know how to go about ending things is all.

Don't, give her the option to support your decision in life. If she can't then she just ended it.

X2 bout as eazy as that. and if that is what happens then it NEEDS to be done. 

[PadawanYota_Stovy]

Yea first I have to give her the news first on that I don't wanna go the military and back into the park life. Will be a bad day I'm sure .

I just wanna get back in the park system so much fun doing seasonal work and if it was year around with benefits even better. And Yosemite seems like a great deal of a place sure it is busy but so was Yellowstone park ha. I just have to lay my foot down and go from there.

[brainlessfool]

I just have to lay my foot down and go from there.

yup, can't say how much it matters about being able to make a decision and not going to war over it.
if that happens just think of the fun coming your way after the kids get here and the morgage is due and the car
payment is late and.........
not that you have to be the "boss" butt if she can't take you as you want to be your better off alone.
for a bit anyway. one of my fav. saying is" when you want a girlfrend realy realy bad, thats just how you get her"
not saying she is, just a fav saying of mine. butt you have to be you.

[Rocksurfer]

Well if you go and join the Navy let me know, I'm a certified Restaurant Manager & certified Food Manager and Yosemite is a great area.

[BadnewsBob]

Hey the service isn't for everyone some like it some don't. I did well in there but I like what I did. I will never look down on someone who considered it and just decided it wasn't for them. I have a serious beef for those who do nothing but talk bad about it without knowing what they are talking about.
You know you, I don't.

As for working in the parks....I worked for the National park service here in Kentucky a couple of summers while I was in high school. I understand how you feel about parks.   I still wish I could do that kind of work.

[PadawanYota_Stovy]

thanks again bob,
after thinking about this real hard all afternoon. I will still mostly likely enlist and do my 4 years and take it from there and see what happens. I mean the worse thing I fall in love with and retire from the service or hate and get out in 4 years and say hey at least I tried it for 4 years and move from there.

I do love this girl and I would turn the park system to a better life in the military. because I can see my self starting a family and what not with her. So the military could and would help that possible.

I think with working in the park system before this was just a small temptation to go back . But once I thought about it the military would be a better start and career move. Again the long run the Military will suit me better and all around better life. I've wanted to enlist before and will still once I get my 3% of body fat lost I move forward .

Thanks again for any one taking the time to respond.

[Rocksurfer]

In the end talking it out with people generally brings the question full circle to where you really understand what you want for your future, hope it works out for both of you and good luck. I was Army and single so no ties. My nephew retired a couple years ago from the Marines, wife and two kids. If you like it you'll stay if not the civilian world will still be here when you get out.

[Snowtoy]

With you liking the outdoors the way you do, I don't see the Navy being a good fit for you, not to mention it not being completely your idea/choice.

I think you already know what you want/are going to do, so you need to tell your GF that you are heading to CA, and if she wants to come she can(though I think you know the relationship has come to its end), if not she should look at this as her opportunity to find a military boyfriend/husband she apparently wants to turn you into.