Wow... seriously?

[kneedownnate]

The scammers are just too damn stupid for their own good.  If you're going to try and make me believe you're from the government, at least have the sense to learn how to use proper American english   

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
FBI Headquarters in Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20535-0001


Attn: Beneficiary,


This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly
Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are
having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles  C. Soludo of
the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke,  none officials of
Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, Mr. Michell Brown From union bank kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben
of Fedex,Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Puppy Scammers are  impostors claiming to be the
Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why
you
have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial
Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.

Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have
brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment in total USD$10.5million
in an ATM CARD which you can use to  withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere
in the world with a maximum of $10,000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the
lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD.

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be
rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect You. All I want you to
do is to  contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and
procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $570 only and note that
your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your
transaction.

CONTACT INFORMATION

NAME:        Kelvin Williams

EMAIL:    [email protected]

Do contact Mr. Kelvin Williams of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details:    EMAIL
ADDRESS:   [email protected]

FULL NAME:
HOME ADDRESS:
TELL:
CELL:
CURRENT OCCUPATION:
BANK NAME:

[86bobbedtoy]

thats fn crazy
dam scammers

[BLACKDOG]

thats fn crazy
dam scammers

Damn Nate, how'd you get so lucky?  When you mail out the check for $570, you mind sending some $$ my way?  Seeing as how they've solved your financial obligation problem? 

[emsvitil]

Hey, it's my money as I got that email first a couple of weeks ago............

[86bobbedtoy]

this way you will get something back
send Me your 571 and I will send you 1 dolla

  atleast you will be getting something

lol

[kneedownnate]

Yea, I love how they're telling me they've contacted me because I'm involved in an illegal transaction with somebody, then they say they can help me complete said illegal transaction  

[Toymin8r]

Trust me.  I speak from experience.  The only way the FBI contacts you for official business is by a knock at your door, usually followed by your door being knocked down.



a .cn domain is in China by the way.   Email the cown back and tell him/her to learn better grammar before he tries to pull scams.

[Stocker]

Simply amazing. I have seen quite a few of those scam emails, and that's one of the stoopidest.  Too bad there's not some way to get 'em back....   

They wouldn't keep sending those out if they didn't get a bite now and then.   

Trust me.  I speak from experience.  The only way the FBI contacts you for official business is by a knock at your door

I don't even wanna know...   

[Rocksurfer]

Yeah right the feds want you to be involved in illegal activities. 











That's not saying they aren't

[kneedownnate]

I did get a letter once from local law enforcement informing me my phone transactions with person X were being watched, but that was just cause of a murder case and he kinda did it so...

[Rocksurfer]

Kinda?!

[46&2]

I am still waiting for my large sum of money from the Emperor of Jabooty

[KYOTA]

loan me couple mil there buddy? 

[kneedownnate]

Ok, maybe not kinda, it just hadn't come out yet.  Took about 4 months for him to spill the beans to somebody, then another week or two for that person to finally come forward.

[Toymin8r]

I don't even wanna know...  

Let's just say that warrantless electronic eavesdropping by the government was going on long before George W. Bush took office.   

.....and you can count on everything you type on the internet being filtered through a governemt system looking for suggestive words and phrases. 

[NorCalToy]

Let's just say that warrantless electronic eavesdropping by the government was going on long before George W. Bush took office.   

.....and you can count on everything you type on the internet being filtered through a governemt system looking for suggestive words and phrases. 

so whtad you do?

[Toymin8r]

so whtad you do?

I have no idea what you're talking about.   

[RadioFlyer]

Reply to them and tell them you will send payment in international cashiers checks totaling $700 and that they need to send the difference back by money order! 


Sean  8)

[kneedownnate]

No thanks, no sense in giving scammers my email address!

[kneedownnate]

Got one today that's just absolutely pathetic 

Dear Friend,

With a very desperate need for assistance,I have summed up courage to contact you.I am
presently in Iraq with the USA marine platoon;I found your contact particulars in an
Address journal.I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $12.7m USD (Twelve
Million Seven hundred Thousand United States Dollars)to you,as far as I can be assured
that it will be safe in your care until I complete my service here.
This is no stolen money,and there are no dangers involved.

SOURCE OF MONEY:
Some money in various currencies was discovered concealed in barrels with piles of
weapons and ammunition at a location near one of Saddam's old palaces during a rescue
operation,and it was agreed by all party present that the money be shared amongst us,this
was quite an illegal thing to do, but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for
the risks we have taken with our lives in this hell hole.

The above figure was given to me as my share,and to conceal this kind of money became a
problem for me,so with the help of a German contact working here,and his office enjoys
some immunity,I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of
trouble spot.He does not know the real contents of the package,and believes that it
belongs to an Asian American who died in an air raid,and before giving up,trusted me to
hand over the package to his family.There is a secured way of getting the package out to
a safer country for you to pick up,and i will discuss this with you when I am sure that
you are willing to assist me.

One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this matter with a third
party,should you have reasons to reject this offer.please destroy this mail as any
leakage of this information will be too bad for us.

I do not know for how long we will remain here but hopefully before the year runs out,I
have survived 2 suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God,this and other reasons I
will mention later has prompted me to reach out for help.

Please you can reach me on my personal e-mail address below for more information s.
Email: [email protected]
Respectfully,

Harry Barnes.

[NorCalToy]

thats probably the most well written one iv read yet. the grammar was correct  the figures matched and werent repeatedly changed and his name stayed teh same

[BLACKDOG]

thats probably the most well written one iv read yet. the grammar was correct  the figures matched and werent repeatedly changed and his name stayed teh same

I hope you're not serious?   


Nate, does the marlin board count as a third party, if so, I think you're going to get him in trouble!! 

[Stocker]

Nate, when you collect that $12.7 million, I hope you remember your dear old Dad who fed you & kept a roof over your head all those years...   






You need a better spam filter   

[kneedownnate]

  I don't think it's a spam filter issue, I'm pretty sure they're mass mailing people through craigslist ads or something.

[junya92toy]

Sad part is people fall for it

[kneedownnate]

It truly is sad, but it's just nature's (society's) way of culling the herd.  The weak and the dumb have no place in a stronge society.  Sadly, medical science and shifty lawyers have set the curve.

[kneedownnate]

Aaaaanndd I got another today, from fedex express company nonetheless!!  :rolleyes:

CONFIRM OWNERSHIP (PARCEL)

Good Day!!!

We have been waiting for you to contact us for your Confirmable Package that is
registered with us for shipping to your residential location. We had thought that your
sender gave you our contact details so that you can quickly come and pick it up without
informing you. we cannot quote its content to you via email for Privacy reasons we
understand that the content of your package itself is parcel contained an International
Cashier Bank Draft/Cheque worth the sum of $1,200,000 USD which will be deliver to at
the moment as long as you provide all the requirement to the FedEx package company
before the parcel can be shipped to your own residential address in your country.

Furthermore, you might be asking yourself how comes this email,cheque or draft, Anyway,
your Cheque  was brought to this office by a Lottery Fiduciary Agent Or Claim Agent,
signifying that you are a rightful winner to their Lottery Award selected randomly from
10 lucky email addresses which your email address is one of the lucky email address.
What you have to do now, is to contact our Delivery Department for immediate dispatch
to your residential address.

For your information, the VAT & Shipping charges as well as Insurance fees have been
paid by the Lottery Fiduciary Company and the icon insurance company of Nigeria has
finalized everything before your package was registered. The payment that was made on
the Insurance, Premium & Clearance

Certificates was to certify that the Bank Draft is not a Drug Affiliated Fund (DAF)
neither is it funds to sponsor Terrorism in your country this will help you to avoid
any form of query from the Monetary Authority of your country and you must compensate
the FedEx express package company by paying the security fee which they used in
protecting your fund. You will have to pay a sum of $520.00 USD to the FedEx Delivery
Department being full payment for the Security Keeping Fee of the FedEx Company as
stated in our privacy terms & condition page.

Also be informed that the Lottery Fiduciary company wished you to pay for the Security
Keeping charges, but we do not accept such payment considering the facts that all items
& packages that is registered with us having a time limitation and we cannot accept
payment having known not when you will be picking up the package or even responding to
us. So we cannot take the risk to have accepted such payment incase of any possible
demurrage.

Note: The Money can not be deducted from the parcel because the Lottery Fiduciary
Company (L.F.C) advise us that you must pay for the security keeping fees before we can
deliver the parcel to you, the Lottery board did not leave us with any further
information because we hope that you we respond to us as soon as possible because if
you fail to respond until the expiry date of this package, we may refer the package to
the British Commission for Welfare as the package do not have a return address.

Kindly contact the delivery department (FedEx Delivery Post) with the details
Given below:

FedEx Delivery Post Contact Person: Mr. Fredrick Gardner
Tel: +2347056315760
Email: {[email protected]}
This is mandatory to reconfirm your Postal address and telephone numbers.
=====================================
FUNDS RELEASED AND VERIFICATION FORM
=====================================
FULL NAMES:
TELEPHONE:
POSTAL ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
COUNTRY:
SEX (M/F):
AGE:
OCCUPATION:
NEXT OF KINS:
========================================
Kindly complete the above form and summit it to the delivery manager on:
[email protected]

As soon as your details are received, our delivery team will give you the necessary
payment procedure so that you can effect the payment for the Security Keeping Fees. As
soon as they confirm your payment of $520.00 USD, they will not hesitate to dispatch
your package as well as the attached letter to your residence. It usually takes 24
hours being an over night delivery service.

Note: that we were not instructed to email you, but due to the high priority of your
package we had to inform you through the letter that was attach in your package, We
indeed personally sealed your Bank Draft we found your email contact in the attached
letter as the recipient of the foremost package and we where very glad that will found
the owner of the package. Ensure to contact the delivery department with the email
address given above and ensure to fill the form as well to enable a successful
reconfirmation.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Victoria Williston
FedEx Online Team Management

[Stocker]

Makes sense to me.....  they want to give you $1.2 million, but must first charge you $520 to have it delivered -- and they are somehow unable to simply deduct the $520 up front.   

   "the icon insurance company of Nigeria has finalized everything" 

Yup, sounds legit all right!!!!   

[BUDDERS]

Here's  one I just got today:

Reform Church of God
23/24 Cocody Avenue
AbidjanCote divoire

Dearest One I know this mail will come to you as a surprise since we have not had previous correspondence, please bear with me.  I will really like to have a good relationship with you, and I have a special reason why I decided to contact you.  I am Miss Miriam 18 years old girl from Cote d Ivoire, the only daughter of Late Mr Robert.  I am constrained to contact you because of the maltreatment I am receiving from my Uncles.  They planned to take away all my late father's treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my beloved Parents.

Meanwhile I wanted to escape to anywhere i can have a good life but he hides away my international passport and other valuable travelling documents. Luckily he did not discover where I kept my fathers File which contains important documents.  So I decided to run to an orphanage camp where I am presently hiding under Reform Church of GOD Abidjan Cote d ivoire where my late father deposited some amount of money in a bank.

I wish to contact you personally for a long term business relationship and investment assistance in anywhere in the world.  My late father deposited the sum of US$ 5.5 million (Five million Five Hundred united state dollars) in one of the leading bank with my name as the next of kin.  However, I shall forward to you with the necessary documents on confirmation of your acceptance to assist me for the transfer of the money to your account, and investment of the fund.  As you will help me in an investment, and I will like to complete my studies, as I was formerly a medical student, when the crisis started.  If you are willing to help me in this kindly get back to me as soon as possible.  Please do keep this only to your self please I plead you not to disclose it till I come over to your country after the transfer.  I am willing to offer you 20% of the total sum as compensation of your effort and 5% for any other expence you made after a successful transfer.

Yours Sincerely
Miriam

[Stocker]

This was just posted on another board.   


ATM INC.
c/ Los anagels7,45976
Salamaca,Spain.

Dear Email owner,
The Automatic Teller Machine Inc.(ATM) have chosen you by the board of trustees via random email as one of the final recipients for the 2009 cash grant promo.

The aim of this promo is to continue to encourage the use of atm card,and to improve the standard of living globally,by giving out once in a "life time cash grant promo" ATM Card Value (1.4 MILLION EURO) to 5 lucky recipients respectively,for the year financial grant promo,in accordance with the enabling act of Parliament world development programme.

You have been granted an ATM Card, with a sum value (1.4 MILLION EURO) only.We have secured the release of the funds to you as soon as you call and email the financier and assigned agent,with your Full Name,Mobile,Telephone and Fax Number,Occupation,Mailing Address and Country below.

STANDARD S.L
Mr.Bart Alonsa
Tel: +34 608 526 311
Valencia, Spain.
Email to: atm.pro@jmail.co.za

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT AN ATM CARD VALUE (1.4 MILLION EURO) WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE,FROM ANY PART OF THE WORLD AS PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2009. Note always quote your (ATM CASH GRANT NUMBER: W-342-8876) in all your emails.

Best Regards,

Mrs.Ash Orch
Director of Operations