What to do and what to look out for when on a wheeling expedition....

[DTB]

Saw this on another board and thought it was funny. not sure who wrote it What to do and what to look out for when on a wheeling expedition....

Your sitting in your rig waiting to go on a fun trip down an unknown trail. your in your super duper double throw me down new rig with every bolt on after market modification you could find. your wife next to you, the kids and dog in the back seat all buckled in with their game boys and DVD's in the head rests on. The guy next to you is sitting alone because he's removed all of the seats except his and covered himself in monkey bars. The body is pretty much gone and there's a smoke eating steam belching big block with a blower on it in his rig. It's hard to hear due to the lack of a descent muffler on this weirdo's rig. Do you stay in line to prove to the wife and munchkins your a real wheeler? Or do you have second thoughts? Here's a few clues so you won't get to mixed up in the right decision for you and yours and end up somewhere you shouldn't be.

If your in your new bitchen rig with a stock sports bar covering your families heads and the guy next to you is in a one seater that only a squirrel could crawl into....your with the wrong group.

If you reach back for your Coleman cooler to get a soda and the guy next to you has a tube running to his helmet from what looks like a kegger fuel cell, you in the wrong group.

If you just replaced you shocks with some super double throw me down Rancho adjustable and the guy next to you has what looks like the Columbia sticking 2 ft through what used to be his hood with an animals name on it. Your in the wrong group.

If your sitting in the wash on lever ground and the guy next to you has his left front tire on a 4' tall boulder and all fours are still on the ground, your definitely in the wrong group.

If your in a new rig that cost you 35K, and the guy next to you is in a CJ that cost him 40K..your in the wrong group.

If your wife is making you and the kiddies a sandwich on Lilly white bread and the guy next to you is digging a bunt burrito off his flaming manifolds with his 2' long bowie knife, you in the wrong group.

If you have a bag hanging off the rear of your rig for the purpose of wiping any oil drops that may inadvertently drop from the best in front of you and the guy next to you has a 40 gallon trash bag full of empty beer cans, you may be in the wrong group.

If your all proud of the new foreign head lamps you installed before you left and the guy next to you has a row of PIAA's across the top of his roll bar along with 4 each side of the 16K winch and a set of Christmas lights adorning his undercarriage, You may not want to go on a night run with him.

If you drove into camp in your new beauty and the guy next to you is taking some unfamiliar looking beastie off the trailer, you may want to re-think taking off into the sunset with him.

If your stickers consist of C4WD and your clubs devil dog sticker and the guy next to you has every available body part plastered with some suppliers stickers, you may be in the wrong group.

If the guy next to you is putting on a helmet with a re-breather on it, you may want to roll your windows up and turn on the air. And then, turn around and go home.

If you can look directly out your window and see the lettering on the guys rig next to you, you may need a lift and a new set of tires. and, you may want to consider getting in another line of hero's.

If you can hang out the window to admire the rig next to you and the only floor boards you see is where the clutch and brake peddles are hooked up, you may be in the wrong group.

If your explaining to your wife why you had to miss early mass in order to go on this trail and guy next to you is screaming at his insignificant other toss a few brewskies in the glove box for lunch, you may be in the wrong group.

If your all proud of you new rear bumper with a 90 lb spare hanging off of it with the lettering flashing the guy behind you to show you only buy the best and, the guy next to you carries no spare, you may be in the wrong group.

If your standing there admiring your hood ornament and the guy next to you is doing the same only he's checking out his diff cover, you better pull out of line while you can.

If you sitting around a camp fire and get up to go looking for your trusty new flash light and snake bite kit to wonder way off in the dark to go pee pee and, the guy next to you just stands up and maybe or maybe not turns around to piss over the back of his chair not bothering to open his pants due to the big rip in the crotch, you may be with the wrong group.

If you get up and go into your MH for another scotch and soda and return to a pile of what was today's lunch between the guys feet next to you with a beer in his hand, you may want to move your French woven chair and SS end table to the other side of the fire pit. And then make plans to fit the guck outta there early with the excuse that wife is on the rag. Unless she's the one your sitting next to, to begin with that is.

If your on the trail and hit a rock that puts a big rag on your fender so it's rubbing you tire and your standing there wondering WTF to do, and they guy behind you gets out the ax to rid you of that worthless piece of metal, you may be in the wrong group. And, he may be that guy at the fire pit that night trying to look up your old ladies pant leg.

If you pull up to a group you only knew from the net and they all look like they should be standing on the corner of Market and 32nd St at midnight with a wine bottle in their hands. Stay close to them, their the ones that know how to fix your junk while you stand there like the candy ass you are.

When you pull up to a new group, take a good look at their rigs before venturing off on a trail with them. do you want yours to look like that by night fall? If not, yank out your cell phone and act like your mom just died and get the fu&^ outta there soon as possible. You can come up with some lame excuse on the boards after pondering over it on the way home. While the wife mixes you another drink so you'll have a more interesting tale of what a wheeler you are. I mean, when whatever excuse you came up with has been polished for the group. don't worry to much though. We're all girly boys when a half a case down.

If your pushing a button to get that new beast into 4 wheel and you look over at the guy next to you and, he has 6 shifters sticking out of the floor board, you may be in the wrong group.

If your parked next to some dipwad with a "if you can read this, roll me over" sticker on his bumper, get out the camera because the dipwad hasn't been over just yet. And if there's a "it's a jeep thing you wouldn't understand" sticker on his windshield, you, your wife, dog and kids are probably safe in following this newb into the bush.

What does it all boil down to? Well, don't try to match your rig to the group you ride with. Match you ride to the rig you came with. Just because some yahoo say his rig is better than yours, that don't necessarily make it so. Do your thing and don't be afraid of the bling. It's cool!

[BLACKDOG]

[unclejpl4x4]

I can't read that much i have ADD

[DTB]

I can't read that much i have ADD

they make medicine now that can help u with that i think its called ritalin

[79coyotefrg]

If you pull up to a group you only knew from the net and they all look like they should be standing on the corner of Market and 32nd St at midnight with a wine bottle in their hands. Stay close to them, their the ones that know how to fix your junk while you stand there like the candy ass you are.

[motorider228]

I can't read that post because i just read over 70 pages in my anthropology text book 

[Rocksurfer]

That's funny, but it kinda sounds like my club. You will see mild to wild in my club sitting next to each other, it is all in the attitude not just how bad ass you and your vehicle looks.

[*FFC*]

*click, drag all the way down*


*right click, copy*


[opens microsoft word]


*right click, paste*


*ctrl P* 

[jimbo74]

they make medicine now that can help u with that i think its called ritalin

caffeinne does the same thing, and its cheaper

[DTB]

  it is all in the attitude not just how bad ass you and your vehicle looks.

it's not? i thought it was how bad ass i looked

[Duffil]

Nice! :beers:

[BLACKDOG]

If your pushing a button to get that new beast into 4 wheel and you look over at the guy next to you and, he has 6 shifters sticking out of the floor board, you may be in the wrong group.

  thats me and my dad!!

except I only have 3 shifters   guess I need more!!

[Gittinit]

I guess I'll have ta downgrade, or mabye just start drinking beer,and get more stickers.  That was a good read.thanks i needed that.