Topic: Things You Shouldn't Do If You Are In a Halloween Horror Movie

[Rocksurfer]

1. - Don't assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.

2. - When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

3. - Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

4. - Don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out.

5. - If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

6. - When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER split up and go it alone.

7. - Don't have sex. Especially if you've noticed a few of your friends are missing!

8. - As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.

9. - Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

10. - If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, don't stand there sighing with relief, GET THE HELL OUT!

11. - If appliances start operating by themselves, don't check for short circuits; JUST GET THE HELL OUT!

12. - Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

13. - If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

14. - Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

15. - If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely ambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

16. - If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

17. - Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

18. - If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had a full tank of gas, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten.

19. - Beware of strangers bearing strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

20. - If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

[oddball]

Have you been watching AMC?

[Doof]

 

[jimbo74]

21. - Never run upstairs to get away from whatever is downstairs

[Rocksurfer [OP]]

21. - Never run upstairs to get away from whatever is downstairs

good one

[JanMarie13]

  Thanks for the tips RS!  

[Rocksurfer [OP]]

Eh, I just draged and dropped from Ernie, Jim got the idea though.

[JanMarie13]

Eh, I just draged and dropped from Ernie, Jim got the idea though.

Ohhh!     I hadn't even been to Ernie's yet today.  That's awesome 

[jimbo74]

i was thinking about that one from scary movie and those other ones with i know what you did last summer and all of the other thriller/chiller movies and all of those..... all the idiots run upstairs...

[emsvitil]

22.  If I'm caught by the monster, don't just stand there screaming while I'm being eaten alive.....   Just shoot me.

[Misfit4Runner]

23. If your friends are being eatan alive or slaughtered DO NOT go back to see if their all right. because their not and your gonna be next

[NorCalWheeler]

24. Never go hunting for the monster with nothing but a hand gun.

[BLACKDOG]

24. Never go hunting for the monster with nothing but a hand gun.

25. Never go hunting for the monster with just the load that you have in the gun, you don't get 20 shots out of a revolver, like in the movies.

26. If you're trapped in a mall, surrounded by zombies that can't get to you, stay there, don't try to get to a "safer" unknown place.

27. (females and brainlessfool)  If you are going to be running from something soon, or have decided to break the rules above and go look for the noise, its better not to wear tight, restrictive clothing with high heeled shoes. 

28.  Ouiji boards are better left alone.

29. If you feel like something is staring at you, but it turns out to be a doll, RUN!!

30. If something starts coming out of faucets besides water, leave immediately.

[abnormaltoy]

31. What ever you do...DO NOT be black. You WILL die first.

[Tice]

19. - Beware of strangers bearing strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

Unless they are carrying Bud-light!!!!

[Plekto]

One of my favorites.

32. Don't forget to look up.  They always hide there.

33. Fire really DOES fix almost any problem.