A quick rule to remember is 1%.
The front and rear diffs must be within 1% of each other.
If you have a 4.30, you can safely use a 4.26 to 4.34.
If you have a 5.29, you can safely use a 5.24 to 5.34.
Running a 5.29 and a 5.38 will in fact work, but it makes it hard on the drivetrain. I would not advise it.
Yes, you can put the larger V6 carrier into the 4 cyl housing.
You will need the Timken set X32010X cone and Y32010Y cup.
This has been done for a number of years by ARB.
Marlin
cool thanks for the help Marlin