Author Topic: Silly Jokes (Read 548172 times)

84runner · « **Reply #180 on:** May 07, 2004, 01:13:47 PM »

That one is NICE

flipside_nv · « **Reply #181 on:** May 09, 2004, 01:06:46 AM »

Quick Joke
Late one night a drunk guy is showing some friends around his brand new apartment. The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.

"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.

"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."

"How does it work?"

The guys picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.

Suddenly, someone on the otherside of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you as*hole...it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"

84runner · « **Reply #182 on:** May 10, 2004, 02:22:37 PM »

London:
>
>
>The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train,
>looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent
>to
>a well dressed middle-aged French lady and was being used by her little
>dog.
> The war weary soldier asked, "Please ma'am, may I sit in that seat?." The
>French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You
>Americans..You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little
>Fifi
>is using that seat?." The soldier walked away, determined to find a place
>to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself
>again facing the woman with the dog.
>
>
>Again he asked, "Please lady, may I sit there? I'm very tired." The French

>woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans!. Not only are you
>rude
> you are also arrogant." The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned
>over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and
>sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded
>that
>someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting
>across the aisle spoke up, "You know sir, you Americans do seem to have a
>penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong
>hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you
>ve thrown the wrong pregnant dog out the window."
>

WHITE_TRASH · « **Reply #183 on:** May 10, 2004, 07:26:52 PM »

Thats some funnay $hit!! have a point

84runner · « **Reply #184 on:** May 12, 2004, 04:42:15 PM »

>Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
>manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars
>of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was
>to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New
>York.
>This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
>delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to
>New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever
>lost.
>
>The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly
>awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was
>so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they
>still observe to this day.
>
>The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
>of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
>
>
>
>WHAT!!!! You expected something educational from me....

WHITE_TRASH · « **Reply #185 on:** May 12, 2004, 07:04:12 PM »

lol I like that!

mudguts · « **Reply #186 on:** May 21, 2004, 08:15:16 AM »

I heard that Ellen Degeneress drown.

Yep, they found her face down in Riki Lake

BigMike · « **Reply #187 on:** May 21, 2004, 08:58:09 AM »

Why does Michael Jackson like 28-year-olds?

Because there are 20 of them!!!

hahahahahahhahahahahahahahha

mudguts · « **Reply #188 on:** May 21, 2004, 06:40:44 PM »

Why our Navy SEALS are better than the Iraqi Navy SEALS. See next post.

mudguts · « **Reply #189 on:** May 21, 2004, 06:41:47 PM »

Iraqi Navy SEALS.

84runner · « **Reply #190 on:** May 22, 2004, 10:54:34 AM »

Good one mudguts

BigMike · « **Reply #191 on:** May 22, 2004, 10:07:36 PM »

I actually think they are better. Some of them are actually in the water. hehe

BigMike · « **Reply #192 on:** May 22, 2004, 10:09:59 PM »

This is an old one.....

So why is 6 afaid of 7?

Because 7 8 9!

hehehehehe stupid I know (hint: say it slowly)

84runner · « **Reply #193 on:** May 23, 2004, 08:47:43 PM »

A three year old boy in his bath examined his testicles and asked,

"Mommy, are these my brains?"

Mom said, "Not yet, honey

mudguts · « **Reply #194 on:** May 26, 2004, 08:53:15 PM »

The US Navy has a new Terrorist, Catch and Release program. The terrorist receives a car and fifty bucks and is then sent on his way.

KYOTA · « **Reply #195 on:** May 26, 2004, 08:56:46 PM »

I wanna see them do that with someone on a bicycle

brainlessfool · « **Reply #196 on:** May 26, 2004, 08:58:12 PM »

that's too good for them, just hook'um up by there

and trow them off the ship :.order:

KYOTA · « **Reply #197 on:** May 27, 2004, 10:41:27 PM »

Another bicycle joke

A kid asks his dad for a bicycle, the dad says " no son, I cant afford to buy you a new bike I have an $80,000 mortgage on this house". The next day the kid is on his way out of the house with a suitcase and his father asks him where he is going. The boy says to his father "well, when I walked by your room last night I heard you say you were pullin' out and mom said she was comin' too and I'll be damned if I'm gonna stay here with an $80,000 mortgage and no bicycle!!"

WHITE_TRASH · « **Reply #198 on:** May 27, 2004, 10:47:02 PM »

Now thats funnay!

shawnb · « **Reply #199 on:** May 30, 2004, 09:29:30 PM »

A study proved that 90 percent of women, at some point in their lives, have some form of intelligent DNA present in their systems. THe study also showed that of the 90 percent, 83 percent spit it bvack out.

WHITE_TRASH · « **Reply #200 on:** May 30, 2004, 11:15:11 PM »

ROFLMAO! That is too funnay!

brainlessfool · « **Reply #201 on:** May 31, 2004, 06:53:51 AM »

I don't get it.

yotaboy79 · « **Reply #202 on:** May 31, 2004, 03:12:24 PM »

if you dont like racial jokes then dont read this one
what do you call 3 mexican 1 chinese man and 3 black men standing in a line
a sprinkler system.......... spik spik spik chink nigga nigga nigga
say the last part fast

brainlessfool · « **Reply #203 on:** May 31, 2004, 03:31:48 PM »

sould take a scoobie snack for that one

yotaboy79 · « **Reply #204 on:** May 31, 2004, 03:50:28 PM »

what you dont like it

KYOTA · « **Reply #205 on:** Jun 02, 2004, 07:33:40 PM »

funny pics

KYOTA · « **Reply #206 on:** Jun 02, 2004, 07:34:44 PM »

1 more

KYOTA · « **Reply #207 on:** Jun 02, 2004, 07:37:27 PM »

The kid in the teasing one was me 25 years ago

84runner · « **Reply #208 on:** Jun 04, 2004, 10:57:27 AM »

84runner · « **Reply #209 on:** Jun 04, 2004, 10:58:22 AM »

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