Author Topic: Rules for Girls from Guys (Read 8513 times)

BLACKDOG · « **on:** Jan 05, 2005, 01:58:33 PM »

>>We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now, here are the
rules
> >>from the male side.
> >>
> >>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's
> >>up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
> >>complaining about you leaving it down.
> >>
> >>2. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of
> >>the tides. Let it be.
> >>
> >>3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to
> >>think of it that way.
> >>
> >>4. Crying is blackmail.
> >>
> >>5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
> >>hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not
work!
> >>Just say it!
> >>
> >>6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> >>question.
> >>
> >>7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
> >>That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >>
> >>8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
> >>doctor.
> >>
> >>9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
> >>argument. Infact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> >>
> >>10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
> >>expect us to act like soap opera guys.
> >>
> >>11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
> >>
> >>12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
> >>the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> >>
> >>13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
> >>want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just
do
it
> >>yourself.
> >>
> >>14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
> >>during commercials.
> >>
> >>15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do
> >>we.
> >>
> >>16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
> >>settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is
also a
> >>fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
> >>
> >>17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> >>
> >>18. If we ask what is wrong and you say ""nothing,"" we will act
> >>like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not
worth
the
> >>hassle.
> >>
> >>19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> >>answer you don't want to hear.
> >>
> >>20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
> >>is fine. Really.
> >>
> >>21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
> >>prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or
> >>monster trucks.
> >>
> >>22. You have enough clothes.
> >>
> >>23. You have too many shoes.
> >>
> >>24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> >>
> >>25. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know; I have to sleep on
> >>the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that,
it's
like
> >>camping.
> >>

abnormaltoy · « **Reply #1 on:** Jan 05, 2005, 03:46:08 PM »

"1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down."

I always tell 'em..."You look before you back up the car, don't you?"
Mark

dirtbag · « **Reply #2 on:** Jan 05, 2005, 04:08:40 PM »

Quote from: blackdog

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

I found me a new quote

RUGER · « **Reply #3 on:** Jan 05, 2005, 05:59:14 PM »

that is awesome blackdog

happy trails
rich *ruger*

donkeykong · « **Reply #4 on:** Jan 06, 2005, 04:23:33 PM »

Now we just need a country singer to make it a song

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #5 on:** Jan 06, 2005, 04:40:39 PM »

Its been done. Havent you heard the song "truth about men" ??

SWAMPER · « **Reply #6 on:** Jan 06, 2005, 05:14:47 PM »

NIce now all i need is a girlfriend so she can complain

4rnrfool · « **Reply #7 on:** Jan 06, 2005, 05:37:05 PM »

That is BY FAR one of the most truthful and hillarious things I've ever seen!!

Ney Ney · « **Reply #8 on:** Jan 06, 2005, 05:58:46 PM »

18. If we ask what is wrong and you say ""nothing,"" we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
That's not true
16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is
also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
Bull, what is olive drab?
15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
Bull
11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
Just plain mean.
9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. Infact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
That's not true
7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Don't be a butt head
5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
So men are just stupid?

4. Crying is blackmail.
that's not true

2. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Whatever you let yourself believe.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
you can leave the seat up if you clean the bathroom.
The rebuttal of a woman!

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #9 on:** Jan 06, 2005, 06:33:57 PM »

I knew I was going to get in trouble for that one

BDspotter->

<-BD

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #10 on:** Jan 06, 2005, 06:41:36 PM »

>>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's
> >>up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
> >>complaining about you leaving it down.

doesnt having the seatup help keep the bathroom clean?

> >>
> >>2. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of
> >>the tides. Let it be.
> >> >>3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to
> >>think of it that way.
> >>
> >>4. Crying is blackmail.
> >>
> >>5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
> >>hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not
work!
> >>Just say it!

Not stupid, SIMPLE. we only have three needs: food, sleep, sex. If you want something, tell us, you are more likely to get it
> >>
> >>6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> >>question.
> >>
> >>7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
> >>That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >>
> >>8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
> >>doctor.
> >>
> >>9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
> >>argument. Infact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

We cant defend ourselves against something we dont remember, so bringing it up is cheating
> >>
> >>10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
> >>expect us to act like soap opera guys.
> >>
> >>11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

You wanted us to be honest right?
> >>
> >>12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
> >>the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> >>
> >>13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
> >>want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just
do
it
> >>yourself.
> >>
> >>14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
> >>during commercials.
> >>
> >>15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do
> >>we.
> >>
We are not lost, we are exploring, just like Christopher columbus

> >>16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
> >>settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is
also a
> >>fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

OD falls into the default category
> >>
> >>17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> >>
> >>18. If we ask what is wrong and you say ""nothing,"" we will act
> >>like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not
worth
the
> >>hassle.
> >>
> >>19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> >>answer you don't want to hear.
> >>
> >>20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
> >>is fine. Really.
> >>
> >>21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
> >>prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or
> >>monster trucks.
> >>
> >>22. You have enough clothes.
> >>
> >>23. You have too many shoes.
> >>
> >>24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

just had to clear up a few things

and if spotter lived with me, yes I know where I would be sleeping tonight

, cause i would be in the

dirtbag · « **Reply #11 on:** Jan 06, 2005, 06:45:43 PM »

blackdog <----->

<-----> blackdog's spotter

or at least he should be

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #12 on:** Jan 06, 2005, 06:47:19 PM »

And I probably will be

lilbuddy · « **Reply #13 on:** Jan 06, 2005, 10:22:41 PM »

Very well done Blackdog...Very nice

Chris

Hyena · « **Reply #14 on:** Jan 13, 2005, 08:30:26 PM »

You don't want to piss off your spotter. They can lead you in the wrong directions.

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #15 on:** Jan 13, 2005, 08:34:29 PM »

Quote from: Hyena on Jan 13, 2005, 08:30:26 PM

You don't want to piss off your spotter. They can lead you in the wrong directions.

Spotter wouldnt do that, she likes my truck too much

. Now, if she didnt like my 'yota, then she probably would

.

Ney Ney · « **Reply #16 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 12:58:07 AM »

well if he actually went by all those rules...then we might have a problem. But BD treats me good. I would never purposly make him screw up his truck.

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #17 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 11:15:27 AM »

Quote from: blackdog's spotter on Jan 14, 2005, 12:58:07 AM

well if he actually went by all those rules...then we might have a problem. But BD treats me good. I would never purposly make him screw up his truck.

What about my t-case shifter, huh spotter?? just kidding

*FFC* · « **Reply #18 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 12:12:40 PM »

I gotta admit guys, it does make sense. If men followed all the "women's rules" then this world would be full of some lovesick miserable guys and it'd be real boring. I could live with some of those "rules" but there's a compromise somewhere right?

$Beer Chug\'n$

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #19 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 12:17:30 PM »

I think that is actually the whole point about the whole thing. Of course, both sides are going to tdo stuff to piss off the significant other. It is in our nature, (or at least my nature) to be a pain in the

But that is hat makes it interesting. I mean, if everyone tried to please everyone all the time, and followed all the rules, 1984 would become a reality. It is our differences and personalities that make us unique, and make it so we cant live with'em and we can't live without'em

brainlessfool · « **Reply #20 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 12:25:50 PM »

rules are rules

what are ya going to do

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #21 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 12:27:41 PM »

Now, If I can just get spotter to follow mine??

JUST KIDDING SPOTTER!!!

brainlessfool · « **Reply #22 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 12:31:14 PM »

Quote from: blackdog on Jan 14, 2005, 12:27:41 PM

Now, I will just get spotter to follow mine

JUST OBAY SPOTTER!!!

man BD, you got net balls! brainlessfool

blackdoggy

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #23 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 12:35:16 PM »

Why thank you brainless

But you know, if you lived any closer, we would both suffer the wrath of Spotter

Spotter ->

<- BF

Spotter ->

<- BD

brainlessfool · « **Reply #24 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 12:45:03 PM »

I'm sure if you just tell spotter how things are going to be she'll fall in line and be a good girly

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #25 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 12:53:23 PM »

yeah right up to the point where I turn around

brainlessfool · « **Reply #26 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 12:57:13 PM »

that's when you rule with a frim hand.

In the end she'll thank you for making her a better woman

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #27 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 01:02:10 PM »

yeah, right.

I'm not that dumb. I havent had that many concussions (yet) I think I will keep it where it is right now. I get to act all

and everyonce in a while, she'll

and pput me back in line, but most of the time, she puts up with me and

which is more than I can ask for

Ney Ney · « **Reply #28 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 02:52:22 PM »

Quote from: brainlessfool on Jan 14, 2005, 12:57:13 PM

that's when you rule with a frim hand. In the end she'll thank you for making her a better woman

Ok Bf you have some major issues! BD....

BLACKDOG · « **Reply #29 on:** Jan 14, 2005, 02:53:45 PM »

see? told you brainless

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