Topic: Nor-Cal Barbies

[BUDDERS]

My buddy in Redding sent me this, and since I lived up there for so many years, I thought it was funny.  Hope you guys think so too.





Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition Barbie dolls for the Northern California area:

Humboldt Barbie:

This Barbie is sold only in Arcata, and is made of actual tofu. She comes with hairy armpits, archless feet, an assortment of tie-dye ponchos, a Prius, some unidentified leafy herbs, and a house with an asking price four times its value. Available with or without old-growth logging protest signs.

Note: Bra not available on this version.

Redding Barbie:

This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching velour gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.

Marysville Barbie:

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, three of her own teeth, a Bronco with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash, preferably small, untraceable bills.



Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what the h*** you are talking about.........

Palo Cedro Barbie:

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included is her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School.

Red Bluff Barbie:


This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a 24-pack of Busch and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Cottonwood Barbie:

This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Corning Barbie's (discontinued) house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top.

Orland Barbie:

This Spanish-only-speaking Barbie comes with a circa 1958 single-wide, two Rancheros on cement blocks, a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but have become very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Chico Barbie:

This Barbie comes complete with a fake ID that only works when Barbie flashes her college titties at the door. Her custom made perfume smells like cheap tequila and stale cigarettes. She doesn't come with a handbag since she is used to Ken , Kent , Kenny or whoever buying her drinks. Frat Boy Ken sold separately and comes with his own beer keg, male entourage, and a toilet for puking.

[jimbo74]

[motorider228]

There was one of these months ago that had the sacramento area in it.

[*FFC*]

There was one of these months ago that had the sacramento area in it.

Oh someone dig it up please!

Hey you don't have Oroville nor Concow area in there That should be easy though


I grew up in Oroville/Chico area, now I live in Sac.  I'd like to find that Sac one again

[motorider228]

haha I just remember what kind of barbie I was.  I grew up in folsom so I drove a lexus and drank starbucks everyday hahahahaha

[Lady Di]

I just saw a Cleveland one and a Florida one.
These go around every so often

[BLACKDOG]

Oh someone dig it up please!

Hey you don't have Oroville nor Concow area in there That should be easy though


I grew up in Oroville/Chico area, now I live in Sac.  I'd like to find that Sac one again

See Cottonwood/Marysville Barbie

[Shamb]

Marysville Barbie:

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, three of her own teeth, a Bronco with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash, preferably small, untraceable bills.

this needs to be corrected to

Olivehurst Barbie    where they invinted the TOOTH brush anywere else it'd be called the TEETH brush.

 

[kneedownnate]

I saw this on craigslist too, cracked my up the first time I saw it last year!  I'd imagine there are lists like this for most areas.

[DTB]

haha we have one here too! caution some naughty words!

http://stlouis.craigslist.org/rnr/258728761.html