I don't know that there is a good answer to this, but maybe putting some type of birth control in the public water supply, and then having to pass a means test to be able to get bottled water might be a solution.
Uh...it's already happening! Whether it has happened inadvertently or is the result of some great left wing conspiracy to turn American males into spineless purse carriers...public water systems are filled with female hormones and other teste shrinking compounds. I suggest to you...this is why we have had an increase in certain lifestyle choices and why we have so many younger males who shave their arms.
As for toasting Master Gore on his carbon credits, the thought of spreading his ashes as a soil amendment intrigues me and reminds me of an old gardening practice. When I had a garden I would plant a cover crop after the season had ended, then till it under before the next season began...this is known as "green manure"...does that sound familiar?