PAIN

Then I am SO alive! Sad thing is the pain I have is severe enough that I am in constant shock, so I sleep through most everything. Doesn't help that opioids make my head spin bad enough I spend too much time shouting Europe at the toilet. I'd rather hurt than have that going on. Good news is that it will all go away one day.

You are right though, pain is good, it keeps you going and governs the rate at which you go. Pain will also let you know when to stop what you're doing if it's too much. It has has however become a big enough paof my life I just don't recognise it any more than bright lights in daylight.