i think i might have found a way to do it!
the elbow on the disposal is quite long, i might be able to do rotate it, or cut it down an inch or 2, and still have the exit hole at the same level as the drain.......
we are also looking into other sinks and disposals at the moment.
i did find the clips that will work at lowes
the drain for the sink doesn't seem to sit properly in the bottom, so not sure about that, but we will see if a new flange doesn't help that, i jsut dont want it to end up being a little bit raised.....