Author Topic: Affair or Fling???  (Read 4192 times)

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germ

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Affair or Fling???
« on: July 12, 2005, 02:08:06 PM »
OK, just to satisfy the curious minds out there, I'm not involved with either one.

That said, there was a conversation in my office the other day about the difference between the two. Without getting into the moral judgement of either, what's the difference?

One opinion was that an affair contained an emotional attachment, while a fling was purley sexual, and there was no emotional involvement. Another opinion was that an affair occured over several meetings, while a fling was a one-night-stand.

What do you think?

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2005, 02:16:45 PM »
The difference in my mind is that an affair is committed when you're married, and have sexual relations with a different person than your spouse. 

A fling is just a sexual encounter that doesn't last much past the incident. No strings attatched.
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2005, 02:17:00 PM »
either way, your cheating, bad bad :nonono:

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2005, 02:19:35 PM »
either way, your cheating, bad bad :nonono:

I don't agree...

An affair you're cheating, a fling there's no strings attatched.....that's the way I was raised thinkin :dunno:
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2005, 02:20:04 PM »
so with a fling, your single?

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2005, 02:21:17 PM »
so with a fling, your single?

 :yesnod:

That's my view point anyway...
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2005, 02:22:10 PM »
oh, i guess thats ok then, better than cheatin on your spoose :laugh:

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2005, 02:23:09 PM »
oh, i guess thats ok then, better than cheatin on your spoose :laugh:

Which, in my opinion would be an affair...


:nonono:
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2005, 02:29:17 PM »
CHEATING IS BAD FOR ALL PARTIES INVOLVED! :headshake:

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2005, 02:37:35 PM »
Affiar - ongoing, with one party married

Fling- one time event, whether married or not.
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2005, 02:46:36 PM »
If you are married it is an affair no matter how many times it happens, a fling is when it's one time or just a short amount of time, and you're not married, a fling could be a week or so.....

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2005, 04:18:56 PM »
Affiar - ongoing, with one party married

Fling- one time event, whether married or not.
I agree with BD. You can have a fling and be married.

I thnk it's like murder. You have yer pre-meditated murder and yer murder commited in a fit of rage.

An affair is pre-meditated, maybe you meet someone at work, flirt some, know that it's going to go further and plan ahead for it.
A fling is something tht happens on the spur of the moment. Maybe yer at a bachelor party, you go out to some bars, meet some hot baby dolls, one thing leads to another, next thing you know yer doin the wild thang in the men's room. (ew! very *friendly* person!)

Either way, if yer married or exclusively involved it's CHEATING :slap: you just don't go there.
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2005, 04:41:54 PM »
I used to wish My wife would have an affair so I could FLING her out the door....but she didnt so I packed My stuff and left :laugh:   :yupyup:

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #13 on: July 12, 2005, 04:49:40 PM »
If you hit it and quit it then its a fling.  If you keep hit'n it and there is any emotion involved except sheer nasty sweaty animal sex then its an affair. :greengrin:
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #14 on: July 12, 2005, 04:58:48 PM »
This sounds like a square vs. a rectangle.  Not are rectangles are squares, but all squares are rectangles.

Definitions from www.dictionary.com

Fling - (1) A brief indulgence of your impulses or  (2) A brief sexual or romantic relationship

Affair - (1) A romantic and sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration (Fling), between two people who are not married to each other.

The bottom line is that by definition all flings are affairs, but not all affairs are flings.

It seems that the more liberal definition of affair assumes that you have to be cheating on a significant other by having sexual relations outside of a committed relationship.
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #15 on: July 12, 2005, 05:05:48 PM »
Fling:





Affair:


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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #16 on: July 12, 2005, 05:16:03 PM »
I used to wish My wife would have an affair so I could FLING her out the door....but she didnt so I packed My stuff and left :laugh: :yupyup:
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germ [OP]

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #17 on: July 12, 2005, 05:20:28 PM »
Some interesting opinions here, keep them coming... I to see more. (Really just trying to prove a coworker wrong.)

Erik :usa:
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #18 on: July 12, 2005, 05:58:15 PM »
Some interesting opinions here, keep them coming... I to see more. (Really just trying to prove a coworker wrong.)

Erik :usa:

Anyway that we could get the points of the arguement?
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #19 on: July 12, 2005, 08:23:06 PM »
Come on guys, are you serious?

What do you think the whole point in getting married is? It's to commit yourself to a SINGLE person, that is called MONOGAMY.
If you can't do that, then don't get married.

What part of "Exclusive Relationship" do you not understand?

Affair or Fling...

I am not married, but I do love a girl enough that I would be married right now if I could realistically afford it. Why the hell would I want her sleeping with another guy? Even if she is kissing some other guy? If she is with some guy together alone at night looking at the moon in a romantic setting, how could she justify kissing/touching/playing without emotions getting involved? Impossible and if you say you can do it I do not believe you because it is w-r-o-n-g wrong.

If she loves me, then she loves me. That is what she tells me so I believe her. And if you are married, then you are married. It's not a part-time job, or only married when your ring is on, or only married when you are within a 10 mile radius of one another?

It boggles my mind that this question is even discussed. I know from the start of a relationship, that I have decided to devote myself 100% to that one person. I love my gf 100%, and if I have an affair, or a fling, or some 10 minuet encounter, then it cant be that I love her 100%, and I have been lying to her all along.

Just like the good ol book says, You can't serve two masters.

I guess I'm all up on a :soapbox: because I've had friends who had girlfriends and then went out to a club and got laid with someone else. What the hell is that about? Unbelievable.

And I know that I am human and I make mistakes, so its simple, don't get yourself into situations that might cause someone else pain.

BigMike

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #20 on: July 12, 2005, 08:29:05 PM »
 :clap2: Bravo Mike!!  :clap:

couldn't have said it better myself. 
:usa: Its better to die on your feet than live on your knees :usa:

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free. "

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #21 on: July 12, 2005, 08:31:58 PM »
 :thumbs:

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #22 on: July 12, 2005, 08:38:12 PM »
I used to wish My wife would have an affair so I could FLING her out the door....but she didnt so I packed My stuff and left :laugh:   :yupyup:
  :hahaha:  :hahaha: I thought that a few times too, but we've always worked it out. Never had an affair or fling whilst married, but it sure does'nt hurt to look and throw out an occasional flirt.
An affair or a fling are not good for relationships unless you're swingers  :eyebrow:
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #23 on: July 12, 2005, 08:42:30 PM »
I just wanted to add that I've never been in a situation that would end up with trouble.. I've never been married, therefor I've never had an affair, and I've never been divorced.

But for those who have had affairs or your former spouce had an affair on you, then I am sorry, I have no idea how rough that must be and I have no clue about that stuff.

But for me, I am a one-woman guy, so all this talk is completely outta the question for me
« Last Edit: July 12, 2005, 08:58:57 PM by BigMike »

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #24 on: July 12, 2005, 08:56:20 PM »
I know what you are talking about mike. 

I have my future wife in hand, and I will not ever do anything to screw up our relationship in that way.  Be it now, before we are married, or when we are.  She is the woman I have chosen, and that is the way it works for me
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #25 on: July 12, 2005, 09:09:09 PM »
:clap2:  :clap:  :clap2:  :clap:  :clap2:  :clap:  :clap2:  :clap:  :clap2:  :clap:

Finally some reasonable talk.  It doesn't really matter what the difference is, see my post above, it is wrong.

toecutter - harmless flirting can lead to jealously and mistrust, and a relationship without trust is broken.

My advise to all is wait for the perfect girl and never let go!   :love:  :love:  :love:
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #26 on: July 12, 2005, 09:44:51 PM »


toecutter - harmless flirting can lead to jealously and mistrust, and a relationship without trust is broken.

 
blackdiamond -  :hahaha: There is no jealousy or mistrust in my relationship. We've been together for 14 years and have had our differences, but they have never been about jealousy or mistrust. Harmless flirting could lead to that if you're weak. You should be a counsler, there are people out there who need you  :thumbs:

ps.... To you other married folk or people who are in somekind of relationship. Don't have an affair or fling, it is not good....period.
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #27 on: July 12, 2005, 09:47:38 PM »
blackdiamond -  :hahaha: There is no jealousy or mistrust in my relationship. We've been together for 14 years and have had our differences, but they have never been about jealousy or mistrust. Harmless flirting could lead to that if you're weak. You should be a counsler, there are people out there who need you  :thumbs:

ps.... To you other married folk or people who are in somekind of relationship. Don't have an affair or fling, it is not good....period.

he would be a good one, wouldnt he muddy?? 
:usa: Its better to die on your feet than live on your knees :usa:

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free. "

"I don't believe in a government that protects us from ourselves."
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Don't take life too seriously, it isn't permanent

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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #28 on: July 13, 2005, 04:42:57 AM »
I think a fling is somthing that happens once or is just pure sex,,like hump buddies,,weather or not you are with a person(married boyfriend,girlfriend),,just sex,,only sex,,thats it..


an affair is when it happens more then once and has emotions and feelings attached and you have a boyfriend,girlfriend and you care for the humpee or humper..

I guess I really don't think its bad IF the chick is not putting out and the guy has needs,,,now if he is getting plenty at home,,and just cheats for the hell of t,,its bad,,but if he needs it because of lack thereof at home then its justified..

Some chicks like to play the power trip with there crotch,,homey don't play dat :shhh: lots of bad girls out there to fling with :angel:
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Re: Affair or Fling???
« Reply #29 on: July 13, 2005, 07:16:41 AM »
Just keep in mind, there are only a couple of reasons that a girlfriend, wife or significant other won't "put out" is because (1) a medical issue - not normally an issue, (2) moral issues - if this is the case they won't do it at all, or (3) you are not meeting their emotional needs.  There is a book called "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate" that is a good place to start learning about what they need.  I assure you that if you were to following the stuff in this book to the letter in a genuine way, you would need to take your vacations along just to get some rest.

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