So Jake and I were stuck at home while Kelly and Caleb went on a red-eye trip to D.C. to see a doctor for Caleb. We always seem to get into some kind of trouble when left to our own devices.
The local fair was going on so Jake slapped together an old muscle bike frame with 20" "Machete" skate park tires and a HUGE front sprocket so he could smoke all the other kids who don't understand about gearing.
He wanted to set his live trap because there are so many tracks down thee by the river. He set it about 100 yards upstream from "canoe camp" where about 100 people were staying for the fair and river trips.
Next day we check his trap and he caught something, but it wasn't the coon or otter he was hoping for. It was a skunk!
So now we are arguing about who has to let the thing loose. We both chickened out and decided we would have to shoot it so we didn't get sprayed and kicked out of the house for the stink. Problem was we were right in town and it's not exactly popular to start popping off shots next to a campground full of out of state folks.
Upon further research we found that there was a tractor pull going on that night. We snuck a pistol into a back pack and waited until a good full throttle tractor pull for sound cover. This worked and we were able to assassinate the skunk with nobody being the wiser.
Then while it did the chicken for a few seconds it released a rather painful smell, that stung the eyes and throat. Now we had to get this thing out of the trap, de-stench the trap and figure out how to move the body so the people in the camp ground could sleep that night.
We rinsed the trap and the dead skunk in the river a bit, which proved completely ineffective. So we loaded the trap in the 4runner to submerse it off the boat dock across town. We got a lot of looks as folks frequenting the many bars hear the loud smell as we idled by. After dunking the trap the smell was more tolerable, but we realized we had nothing to stuff the dead body in to shield us from the horrible weaponized smell. Luckily while cruising back down Front Street like nothing happened, we ran into my coffee drinking buddy William, who said he liked the smell, and provided us with 2 garbage bags.
We went back to the fairgrounds and found that the stench was spreading quite quickly. Then, in the headlights, I picked up the skunk by the head while Jake held the garbage bag open. We tied the first in a knot and then double bagged it and tied the second bag off too. Then we put the bag in the back of the 4Runner and took off to hide the body. The double bagging only kept us safe for about a quarter mile or so, when our eyes started watering again.
We hauled ass out of town and dumped the smelly carcass up on the highway. I think my rear carpet is a total loss at this point.
Anyway that's our skunk/perfect crime story.
